The Good the Bad and the Mad
by ThunderStorm411
Summary: Mordern day Anna goes to visit her "crazy" great grandmother Alice, who claims she's been to a magical world called Wonderland. Will Anna believe her in time to save this mysterious land on the verge of collapse? first fanfic, I'll continue if it appeals.
1. Prologue: A Strange Begining

The Looking Glass

Prologue:

I woke up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes staring groggily up at the ceiling watching the blades of my fan go round and round. It was Saturday, the day every kid on earth wishes it would stay forever, but it cant and every sensible person knows that. I slid out of my bed and padded silently down the hallway to my bathroom and closed the door. I stared quietly at my disheveled figure, taking in my powder blue pajama bottoms and white tank top, with my blonde hair that fell to my shoulders and uncombed reminded me of a rat's nest. My teal eyes, and pale complexion gave me an almost hollow quality but makeup easily fixed that. I hopped in the shower lathering my hair and body in a shampoo called Ocean Breeze, not that it smelled like the ocean breeze. The ocean was much more salty and fishy smelling, not that that would be a good shampoo. I tilted my head up toward the spray letting the water run down my neck, turning the handle so the water came on slightly hotter.

I had been in the shower for at least eight minutes when my mother's voice outside the door broke me from my reverie.

"Anna, honey, don't use all the hot water, remember were going over to see you're great grandma Alice and some of us would like to take showers too!" I closed my eyes, longing for the peace and quiet of ten seconds ago,

"Fine mom I'm getting out!" I called, grumbling as I turned off the shower and stepped out into the unforgiving cold of my bathroom. I grabbed a towel off the hook and dried myself off putting on jeans and a t-shirt that proudly stated "New York" in large exaggerated letters. Then I attacked my hair with a brush to sort out the tangles, grimacing with each tug. "Great" I thought as I pulled my hair back into a ponytail. A perfectly good Saturday wasted with my withered old crazy great grandma. She was in the nursing home because she hit her head when she was little, fell or something, said she's gone to some magical world, Wonderland or something. When I was little I thought the idea of a world with smiling cats and larger than normal rabbits was an amazing discovery and I dreamt and acted it out millions of times. Now I know its just crazy crap. After we had breakfast we drove all the way out to the Moorside Retirement Home, and when we got there great grandma Alice was sitting in her room staring out the window, as small birds of different sizes and colors I couldn't name fluttered about the feeder just outside.

"Alice, you have visitors!" the nurse said in a sugarcoated voice full of fake enthusiasm.

"She's just had her pills so she might be a little groggy," the nurse said again before she disappeared down the hallway. Boy was she exciting, my parents talked to her the whole time, about me, and how the rest of our family was faring, and grandma just stared out the window the whole time. After about half an hour they gave up and went to go get water leaving me alone with her.

"We'll be right back," they promised. I just think they wanted me to talk to her. After they were gone Alice turned around and gave me a sad smile, she had surprisingly straight teeth for a woman her age.

"Trouble," she said slowly, "you must help," she stood up.

"Should I get a nurse?" I asked backing up a little.

"No, you, only you," she said staring off into space again for a second before turning back to me.

"The looking glass," she said pointing a knobby finger at a handled mirror lying on her bed.

"The mirror?" I said picking it up, "what about it?"

"Look harder Anna!" her voice grew stronger. I was surprised she even knew my name. I looked at the mirror in my hand, but instead of my reflection I saw a beautiful field bordered by a lush forest and covered in magnificent wild flowers of unearthly color, shape, and size.

"What is it?" I asked looking into her soft blue eyes, that were no longer tired and old, but young and sparkling with a mischievous twinkle. She took my hand in hers; they were surprisingly warm and soft.

"It's exists, Anna, and it's in trouble," she said sadly, but her voice was filled with pride and excitement. I looked down at the mirror, at the beautiful field.

"What exists?" I asked. I looked up and I no longer saw an old woman, bent, and hobbling. I saw Alice. In her powder blue dress and white smock. She had shining blue eyes, and blonde hair down to the small of her back, tied with a blue silk ribbon. She was about my height, and her face was smooth and unlined.

"Wonderland, is real."


	2. Chapter 1: Wonderland?

Chapter 1:

"Wonderland?" I tried to ask calmly but despite my efforts my voice rose to a high pitched squeak. Alice, now back to her old self, nodded vigorously. Still smiling she let go of my hand.

"All my old friends, they'll be pleased to know you're coming," she nodded and started walking back to her chair rattling off the most absurd names of things, and places I'd ever heard of.

"Yes, yes, yes," she muttered as she settled herself back down in her chair by the window and continued her listless staring. As if on queue my parents entered, smiling,

"Ok, hon, you ready to go?" my mom asked. I looked down at the mirror in my hand, but only my face stared back at me. I tossed it back onto Alice's bed and started walking toward the door.

"Ya," I said somewhat stiffly. After all it was only an illusion. Wasn't it?

On the car ride home my mom asked if Alice had said anything of interest, I just shook my head. When we got home I walked straight up to my room and lay face up on my bed, and played a game I called fact or fiction. We went to the nursing home to see my great grandmother Alice. Fact. Alice talked about me saving Wonderland or something like that. Fiction. Alice hit her head when she was young. Fact. Alice talked to me. Fiction. Alice suddenly grew younger. Fiction. Alice is on drugs in a nursing home. Fact. I saw a field in that mirror. Fiction. I played the game until I had to go downstairs for dinner. The only problem with the game was that I had a hard time believing some of the answers myself.

After I ate my dinner and excused myself from the table, I walked upstairs to take another shower. That always seemed to clear my head. I walked into my bathroom and pulled out a stick of red lipstick and removed the cap. Then, in the upper right corner of my mirror I wrote, _Wonderland?_ I laughed at myself for being so stupid and turned on the shower. I didn't use shampoo this time, I just let the water run over my head while I rubbed my temples, thinking. After about a minute I stepped out and dried myself off, putting my pajamas back on. I looked up at my writing; the lipstick had started to run down the mirror, it almost looked like blood. I laughed again, a little less convincingly and rubbed the condensation from my mirror.

I screamed so loud, I swear dust fell from the ceiling, reflected behind me stood a large white rabbit at least four feet tall, wearing a waistcoat and clutching a gold watch in his right paw.

"Did you do that?" he asked in a British accent indicating my dripping writing on the mirror.

"Stay away, how did you get in here, what are you!" I nearly screamed as I started backing away.

"Well," he stated in a matter of fact voice, "first of all I'm the March Hare not a what, as you say," I continued stepping backward tripping over the edge of the tub and taking the shower curtain with me. I writhed under the wet silky piece of plastic, and heard the hare exclaim, "My, my, this is not how I thought it would go at all," then I heard the click of his watch, and he let out a small gasp,

"Oh my, I'm late, I'm late!" he said loudly, and then I heard the second click of the door as my mother entered.

"Anna, are you OK?" she exclaimed running over to me and tugging the curtain off. The rabbit was gone.

"Ya, I'm fine," I replied, "just slipped,"

"We'll you don't have to scream so loud, we thought you were getting attacked or something!"

"Yes that was a little unnecessary," my father said from the doorway, I hadn't even noticed him standing there.

"Are you sure you're OK?" my mom asked again, "nothing broken?"

"I'm fine mom, just sore," I said slightly irritated. She helped me out of the bathtub and suggested I go straight to bed after I brushed my teeth. I was happy to oblige, after all, all this weird stuff could be from lack of sleep, couldn't it? My mom left and didn't even notice my piece of writing on the mirror, which was good because it probably would have raised lectures, and questions. I pulled a roll of paper towels out from under the sink and ripped one off running it under the faucet. I raised my had to the mirror, and inhaled sharply, it still said Wonderland, but instead of a question mark there was a period, as if someone had answered. I shook my head and wiped it away as quickly as possible, running to my room and dive-bombing onto my bed face down. I hadn't brushed my teeth, but I wasn't going back in there. I slowly inserted myself in between the covers and pulled them up to my chin, and eventually fell asleep. Bad idea.

I was standing on a small cream-colored square of tile, and I was surrounded by an inky blackness, that was impenetrable. A single light, illuminated me, seeming to come from below my feet, but the exact source was questionable. I reached my hand out past my small pillar of light and it disappeared completely, as if swallowed by the dark. I uttered a small sound like a squeak and jerked my hand back, feeling it, but it was still in one piece. I looked around, and almost fell over when two large eyes appeared just above my head. Then a large smile, lined with seemingly millions of little pointed teeth.

"Impressive isn't it," he said in a deep almost nasally voice. I assumed it was just another illusion type thing so I went along with.

"Yes I assume so, now tell me do you have a body, or are you just a head?" He laughed and rolled over in the air, his body dissolving into focus. Then he rested his head on his, paws!

"Excuse me but what exactly are you?"

"Well isn't it obvious?" he said turning onto his side, so his large stomach faced me, with one hand resting under his cheek the other resting on his hip, of sorts. A long puffy tail curled around him, waving slightly.

"Oh, you're a cat," I said a little disturbed, "a very large cat."

"Excuse me?" he said, "are you implying that,"

"Your larger than most cats I've seen," I interrupted quickly. He rolled back over onto his stomach resuming his original position.

"So that makes me not normal?" he said smiling mischievously.

"No I was just," the tile disappeared from under me and I screamed as I fell through the never-ending dark. The cat chuckled, and to my surprise we were both falling! The cat remained smiling and perfectly calm as I struggled, and did wide swinging motions with my hands to slow my descent, but the dark seemed to rush by faster.

"Help me!" I screamed, and then we stopped as suddenly as we had started. The cat was still smiling at me.  
>"Are you crazy? You could have killed me!" the cat was now just a head again, and he slowly rolled over until his face was upside down.<p>

"Maybe a little, but there was no intent to harm I assure you," he said still smiling, "You humans are so amusing, it was just an illusion."

"A what?" I asked nearly yelling.

"It never happened," he said, "want me to do it again?"

"No, I," the ground seemed to disappear below my feet and I was falling again,  
>"Stop!" I yelled, "I will when you stop struggling, you can't fall," the cat said. I closed my eyes tight and stopped moving, when I opened them again I was seemingly suspended in mid air, I crossed my arms.<p>

"Ha ha, very funny," I said in my most sarcastic voice, "put me down," the cat sighed

"You humans were never any fun," he said turning his head right side up again. I felt the tile below me again, solid, and reassuring.

"Oh, silly me, I've forgotten my manners! I'm the Cheshire Cat, but you can call me anything you like, but lets keep it related to my name, I'd rather not be a fluffy or poochkin or whatever names your cats sport these days."

"Well," I said cautiously, not wanting to offend him, "what do your friends call you?"

"Oh, them, I was hoping we'd stay away from that subject" he chuckled and then disappeared and reappeared behind me, I jumped.

"They call me Chess, not that I'm fond of it,"

"Chess it is then," I said not letting him finish.

"My, you're more stubborn then I thought you'd be," he said slowly reappearing back in front of me,  
>"will you stop doing that?" I asked in annoyance.<p>

"Oh, Anna, I'm just playing with you!"

"How do you know my name?"

"Alice told me," he said serenely, as he started to slowly circle me, his body slowly dissolving into focus again.

"My, my, this is quite the conversation, did Hare give you the message?"

"What hare?" I said slowly, the forgotten memories of yesterday flooding back in.

"Figures," the cat said spitting somewhat as he stopped in front of me again.

"Well, you're due for a visit, and we're all waiting," he said his mouth forming a larger grin as he floated towards me slowly. His image started to waver and then, starting from his tail, blow away like sand on a vast plain, his figure dissolving until only his head remained. He was now only a breath away.

"Do come pay us a visit Anna, we've waited sooo long," and then his head faded until only his grin remained showing all his little pointed teeth.

"sooo long," he said, opening his mouth wide and rushing forward seeming to devour me whole.

I woke up in a cold sweat, squares of sunlight shining onto my bed through my window, my clock red nine-o-five. I dragged myself out of bed and not bothering with a shower, trudged downstairs towards the warm smell of eggs and bacon. I had made up my mind last night. I needed to pay another visit to Alice Liddell. I was halfway through my breakfast when I decided to bring up the matter.

"Mom, dad?"

"Yes?" they both said simultaneously.

"Can I go see Alice again?" my mother looked surprised,

"so she did say something of interest," she said knowingly returning her attention back to the dishes.

"Sort of, but I was wondering if you could drop me off on your way to work?" my mother paused mid scrub staring out the window in thought.

"It's a little out of my way," she said slowly,

"Jake, would you be willing to take your daughter back to Moorside?"

"I don't think I'm busy," my dad said flipping another page of the newspaper he'd been reading.

"Are we talking alone, or,"

"alone, please, if that's ok," I interrupted blushing a little.

"Fine with me," my dad said folding up his paper, "Carol?"

"It's perfectly alright with me dear," she said giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before she headed upstairs to change into her nursing uniform.

"Well fruit-cup," my dad said, indicating me, I don't know why he called me that, "you'd better clear your dishes and go get changed!" I smiled,

"thanks dad," I said and ran upstairs to change. I wore something similar to what I had worn yesterday, but since it was slightly colder today, I added a fleece jacket, and frankly, thicker socks. I brushed my hair and put it up in the same ponytail then, I put a small black nylon drawstring bag over my shoulder in which I had put a bag of Cheetos, a granola bar, a pocketknife, a spool of twine, a pack of gum, and an extra pair of socks. I don't know why, I just felt like I should be prepared, although a pocketknife and string would do little good against anything truly dangerous. I hopped down our front walk and jumped in the front passengers seat next to my dad who already had the key in the ignition.

"What's in the pack sport?" my dad asked, "planning to spend the night?"

"Just snacks," I said, "in case you're late,"

"is that a challenge?" my dad said smiling as we turned onto the main road.

"You never know," I said. And its true, you never do know, just like I didn't know why my dad gave me dorky pet names, or how I couldn't possibly know what would happen next.


	3. Chapter 2: A Rabbit In The Bathroom

Chapter 2:

We arrived at Moorside Retirement Home around ten-thirty, and my dad dropped me off, saying he'd be back at approximately eleven-o-clock.

"Now, if you get bored, or she's sleeping, just call,"

"Yeah dad," I said stepping out of the car, "I'll be fine," he just smiled and drove away. I took a deep breath, and walked up the steps to the one story red brick building. I entered my name at the front desk and the same nurse led me to her room.

"You must really love your great grandma to see her two days in a row," she said opening the door and letting me in.

"Now, if she's sleeping don't wake her," the nurse said and once again disappearing down the hall. She was sleeping, of course. I didn't want to go home yet so I decided to wait for her to wake up. I paced the room a few times, got myself a glass of water, and ate half a granola bar. I watched the birds from her window until it was ten-fifty, then I couldn't take it anymore and I walked over to her bed.

"Alice, Alice, its time to wake up now!" I said quietly, no response. I shook her arm slightly,

"Alice, I need advice, I'm…I'm," I couldn't bring myself to say 'I'm going insane, you've infected me with your mental illness, take it back' because somehow I knew that wasn't true, and also obviously impossible. It was now ten-fifty I only had ten minutes.

"Alice, Alice!" I said louder this time, "I need your help!"

Her eyes opened slowly,

"Anna," she said smiling,

"Alice, I need to ask you something," I held my breath, "Is Wonderland real, were you kidding about going there as a child?" Alice shook her head.

"I would never kid anybody, Anna," she said slowly.

"I thought I was going crazy, first there was a rabbit,"

"Hare," she interrupted me, "the March Hare,"

"Yes him, and then this cat thing that could disappear, and I thought it was all a dream,"

"Chess," she said laying her head back down on her pillow and closing her eyes, "dear old Chess,"

"Yes I know, but if they are in trouble, how do I get to them?"

Her eyes opened again.

"Well that should be obvious for a smart person like you," I thought for a moment, the mirror, and the one I had picked up yesterday that had reflected the field instead of my face.

"The mirror," I said looking around frantically.

"Yes, the mirror," she said, "its around here somewhere," I tore through her drawers, and shuffled through rows of pill bottles and old flowers.

"Found it!" I said a little to loud, I heard footsteps in the hall, not the odd muffled shuffle of the elderly, but quicker. I shoved the plastic dining chair against the handle.

"Everything all right?" the nurse said from outside.

"Quick how do I get in?"

"Jump," she said simply.

"Jump? Are you kidding?" I said, "I'll never fit!"

"The brain can be a surprising thing," she said, "Its not, will you fit, it's, will your mind allow you to fit?"

"This is not a time to be cryptic!" I yelled, forgetting the nurse just outside.

"Young lady, I think it's time that you leave," the handle started to rotate, the plastic chair squealing as it was forced across the shiny linoleum floor. I set the handheld mirror on the floor, the field once again shown at me through the glass. I bent down and touched the glassy image; it was cool then grew warm and soft, sending ripples throughout the image. Like passing your finger through Jell-O after it's developed a skin on top.

"It's more fun if you get a running start," Alice said from her bed smiling mischievously.

"I'm gonna die," I said, holding my breath as I backed up and ran, jumping into seemingly endless space.

It was an odd feeling passing through the glass, I felt cold, warm, and fuzzy all over. Then it started to burn, starting from my fingertips spreading to the rest of my body, like a bad sunburn. I writhed and twisted, as my body felt like a gigantic steamroller was flattening it, then as if it was being stretched over millions of miles. My lungs acquired the feeling of tiny prickling tongues of flame, and white and multi colored lights danced in and out of my vision. I wondered, as the pain eased a little, if traveling through mirrors always hurt this much. I doubled up in a ball moaning as the feeling of traveling at light speed slowly subsided. Then it was gone. I was lying in a soft bed, the smell of flowers and grass in my nose. Flowers and grass, this wasn't my bed. I slowly opened my eyes; I was lying facedown in a field, no, not just any field, THE field, the one I saw in the mirror.

I stood up and a thick perfume like smell entered my nose, instantly making me feel dizzy. I moaned, and heard an impatient cough behind me.

"Ahem, I regret to say this but we mustn't tarry we are late already," the voice was nasally and muffled. I turned around and saw the same white rabbit that had so rudely entered my bathroom unannounced the day before; he stood there clutching his waistcoat over his twitching nose.

"Where are we?" I asked, my tongue feeling heavy and leaden in my mouth, making my words slightly slurred. I felt happy and giddy, but ready to pass out, the fact a rabbit was talking to me seemed to be no big surprise, something was wrong.

"I also have seemed to have forgotten a minor detail," the rabbit said still covering his nose,

"I lack the necessary skills for mirror travel,"

"What the hell does that mean?" I asked starting to sway.

"For goodness sakes child cover your nose! You'll surely kill yourself if you keep breathing the stuff in so deeply," I didn't cover my nose, I was probably hallucinating, delirious with fever or something.

"Where are we," I asked again in a mumbled gargle. The rabbit sighed,

"We really must leave,"

"Not until you tell me where we are," I said starting to stumble, the rabbit now a distant blob in my sight. He sighed again checking his watch with his free paw,

"If you must know, we are in the Queen's outer gardens," he replaced his watch and tapped his foot impatiently.

"Queen?" I said thoroughly confused.

"Yes, the Queen of Hearts, now cover your nose already or you'll make yourself sick,"

"To late," I said although it came out as incomprehensible garble,

"Pardon me miss?" the rabbit asked stepping closer, I clutched my stomach as I vomited all over the waxy flower petals and his white fluffy paws.

"Oh my," he said sounding weak, then I blacked out.


	4. Chapter 3: The Hare's Cellar

Chapter 3

I was warm and soft, lying in a bed that smelled of straw and musty fabric. (A real bed this time.) I heard muted voices from outside the little bubble that made up the dark and dreamless sleep I was floating in, but I caught small snitches of conversation.

"Field…queen…sick," none of it made any sense and I moaned. I had the worst headache ever. I tried to open my eyes, which appeared to be glued shut. I rubbed them sleepily and they opened somewhat, revealing a rough tan colored wall.

"Where am I?" I said, my speech apparently still unrecovered from whatever had happened.

"My, is that the first thing you ask every time?" that I recognized as the Hare's voice, which seemed cold and distasteful. I remembered the field, and then I remembered being sick. On the Hare. Crap. If there's one person, I mean animal I guess, that you don't want mad at you, it's a rabbit almost as tall as you. Then a new voice spoke in quick clipped sentences sounding concerned yet slightly neurotic.

"I think she ought to know where she is, what's happened, and who's side we're on, although she should remember,"

"Hatter, there's simply no talking to this girl, I show respect and worry, and she becomes sick all over my nicely groomed hind paws!"

"Excuse me," I said rolling over, which hurt by the way.

"I threw up on accident," I said emphasizing accident to the best of my current ability.

"Oh, she's awake," was all the Hare said, sounding sarcastic.

"What did she say?" the man called Hatter asked.

"I have absolutely no clue, nor do I care," the Hare said, "I don't see why we must keep her here."

"Hare, you know what the Queen will do if she finds her, your tree burrow is the best place!"

"You mean my cellar, if she so much as touches my canned goods, she's out."

"Hare, there's no need to be rash,"

"I am not being rash!" the Hare said loudly,

"wait, what's happening? I'm right here you know," I said angrily.

"I'll go make tea," Hare said through clenched teeth, climbing a set of stairs to, based on what Hatter had said, above ground. Then I saw the man, Hatter. He was tall and thin, wearing a rumpled emerald green tailcoat and matching pants that were a bit to long and frankly not the most ironed in the world. Black shiny shoes protruded from where the pants ended, and one toe peeked out through a hole in the left one. My eyes traveled up to his gaunt face that had a pale complexion, with dark circles under his eyes, and flaming red curly hair that sprung all over the place when he moved. Atop his curly nest sat a hat, made of some type of maroon velvet, bearing multiple patches, and a dark red worn ribbon that wrapped all the way around in which were tucked a peacock plume, and a small card on which was written 10/6 in swooping numbers. He smiled showing his slightly yellow teeth in a crooked smile. Actually, something about his whole figure seemed crooked, and then I realized, he was too tall for the room.

"Hello Alice, it's been a long time," he said tipping his hat to the side as far as the ceiling would allow.

"Anna," I mumbled.

"What dear?"

"My name is Anna," I said angrily.

"Not Alice?"

"No, duh,"

"Well then where is Alice?"

"Shriveling up in a nursing home, where have you been?"

"Well," he said thoughtfully, "I've been no where except here to see what Hare's been fussing about, and what is this nursing home you speak of?" I couldn't believe I was actually having a conversation with this loser.

"A nursing home is a sad sterile place for old people," I said in a somewhat snotty voice, "you've never seen one?"

"Not in Wonderland dear, no, never seen one," oh great, this would be a long day.

"So, I really am here," I said sitting up slowly and looking around.

"My, where else would you be?" the Hatter said in a know it all over enthusiastic voice.

"I don't know, a mental hospital," the Hatter looked confused, "never mind," I said shaking the subject. I didn't want to get onto the subject of crazy people. I turned away from the Hatter and looked around the room. It was roughly fifteen feet across and twenty feet long, and five feet high with rough beige walls. Small shelves lined some walls, and some made supermarket like isles in the middle. Every shelf appeared to be labeled and color-coded in some bizarre order, and almost every shelf contained some form of food item. Dried carrots and assorted vegetables, small boxes labeled herb tea, packages of paprika, thyme, basil, and other names I'd never heard of.

"Now, what did you say about Alice and this mysterious sad home for old people? Alice is hardly old,"

"Nursing home," I corrected, "and ya right, she's my great grandma, she's almost one hundred," the Hatter looked puzzled again,

"One hundred what?"

"Years old,"

"What does that mean?"

"She's lived for almost one hundred years, duh,"

"Years?"

"Ya, you know, a measure of time?"

"Like one hundred seconds?"

"No years, like so many days,"

"Days?" the Hatter asked, this was getting aggravating.

"You know, they go by numbers and weeks,"

"Numbers and weeks," the Hatter muttered, "explain,"

"Fine, it goes like this, so you have one year,"

"Yes," he said somewhat eagerly.

"There are seven days in a week and each day has a name, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. They make up a week, after a week ends it repeats itself over. Then each day has a number depending on the month, and each month has a name, thirty days has September, April, June, and November, all the rest have thirty one except February which has twenty eight, unless it's a leap year but I wont get into that. There are fifty two weeks and one day in a year, and there are seven days in a week as I said before,"

"Continue,"

"I am,"

"Sorry,"

" So anyway there are one hundred and sixty eight hours in a week, and one day is twenty four hours, and if you can tell time which I know your little rabbit friend does"

"Hare,"

"Yes, Hare," I said irritated why it had to be hare, "you should be able to figure the rest out yourself." The Hatter nodded but I could tell he was still slightly confused.

"All you need to know is she's old, gray, bony, and wrinkly." The Hatter cringed,

"But she came here only a while or so ago, she can't be as gruesome as you say."

"Just believe me and stay out of it," I said getting to my feet. The Hatter shrugged,

"Anyway, how old are you?"

"No clue," he said frankly, "I've always looked the same." That was a new one. The Hare eventually wandered back down the stairs with a small tray of tea and scones, but he still wore the same expression.

"Anyway," the Hatter said, "enough of this pointless drabble, I think a little explaining is in order," I nodded slowly.

"First of all, the field you were in is in shall we say bad territory, its controlled by the Queen, you see, the Queen has some of the most beautiful gardens in the world, beautiful and deadly, the gardens and her castle are surrounded or more specifically guarded by the Briar Forest, and the Wilting Fields. They act, as sort of a line of defense, the Briar Forest, if you make it at all, is deadly, especially at night. If you even make it past that, which is highly unlikely, you will run into the Wilting Fields, they're different rare sorts of flowers that somehow make you temporarily lose your senses and pass out, then you will be collected by the guards and probably executed." He smiled as if it was all a joke. It all sounded very grim to me.

"Why should I care?" I said folding my arms. The Hatter stepped back,

"Why should you care?" he said starting to yell, which scared me, "I'll tell you why you should care! She is after your head, and now probably ours too for hiding you here, the consequences for hiding an Outsider are, are, are!" he was stuttering and spitting like a mad horse,

"Now Hatter, we cant blame the child for being an imbecile,"

"Hey!" I yelled, not exactly knowing what that meant, but sure it was a directed insult. Hare glared at me,

"You didn't have to get him so worked up, he has a very short temper you know,"

"NO I DO NOT!" screamed the Hatter lunging at the Hare barely grazing his whiskers as the Hare jumped back landing on his fluffy hindquarters while the Hatter flew into a row of shelves, which fell like dominoes. Hundreds of glass jars shattered into pieces spilling their contents all over the dirt floor. The Hare sat there silently his whiskers twitching slightly. Hatter seemed to lose his momentary anger at the Hare and as he looked around his eyes grew round as saucers,

"Hare, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it, I just had a little mind slip for a moment, and oh," the Hatter said starting to stutter again as he backed up against the wall repeating apologies over and over again. The Hare stood up slowly and dusted off his waistcoat,

"I want you out" he said quietly his voice full of venom and menace.

"Hare I,"

"I don't want to hear it," the Hare interrupted, "never again Hatter, never again will I do you any favors, I want you both out," his whiskers started to shiver, and he balled his paws into small fuzzy fists.

"Hare," Hatter started to reason,

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR REASONING HATTER, I WANT YOU OUT OF MY HOUSE, OUT OF MY CELLAR!" the Hare screamed, the Hatter shrank to the size of a mouse in the full force of the Hare's glare,

"OUT, OUT, OUT! I TOLD YOU THE RULES AND WHAT DID YOU DO? BREAK THEM! LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO, NOW GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" the Hare stood there his eyes aflame as he flicked them from me to Hatter and back again. Hatter picked up his hat, which had fallen to the floor and placed it on his head slowly,

"You'll see reason Hare," he said taking hold of my wrist and heading toward the stairs.

"REASON? YOU WANT ME TO SEE REASON? I'LL SEE REASON WHEN YOU DO HATTER! NOW OUT, OUT, OUT!"

We made our way around the puddles of juice and spilled goods, as we walked to the stairs. As we ascended I glanced back at the Hare. He was kneeling on the floor holding the remains of a jar in his hands, he snapped his head in my direction and squeezed his hands into tight fists, until blood dripped from his paws onto the floor. I whipped back around and hurried up the stairs, truly disturbed by what had just happened.

"What was wrong with you two?" I asked as Hatter led me through a tidy living room and kitchen to what I assumed was the front door.

"It's hard to keep calm here, you'll find everything," he paused thoughtfully, "a bit more aggravating," he said a small smile playing on his lips before it slithered away. "Great," I thought, this place sounds just peachy.

"As you've never really had a formal welcome," the Hatter said as he swung open the door grandly, and bowing somewhat although the ceiling was so low he didn't really need to.

"Welcome, to Wonderland,"

To be honest it wasn't as bad as I'd thought it would be. It smelled nice, and flowers and trees were everywhere, the air was clean vs. the musty air of the Hare's cellar, and the grass was thick and carpet-like under my sneakers.

"Hmmm," I said surveying my surroundings, "not bad,"

The Hatter smiled,

"And this is only the South corner Anna,"

"Huh?" I said distracted as a butterfly similar to a swallowtail but larger in size fluttered past.

"Wonderland is a rectangle divided into Corners and Regions, there is the North Region, South Region, Eastern Region, and Western Region. Then there is the North East Corner, the North West Corner, South East Corner, and South West Corners. Then the leftover part in the middle, is the Central Region, aka the Queen's territory,"

"Wait Wonderland is a rectangle,"

"Yes," the Hatter said.

"That's impossible," I said laughing.

"No," the Hatter said confused and deadly serious.

"Then what's on the outside?" I asked,

"The Outside," Hatter said simply,

"You're joking," I said,

"Not at all. The Outside is where people like you come from,"

"Whatever you say," I said ending the conversation there, something was wrong with this place.


End file.
